Who We Are
by UCLAGirl
Summary: A Jolu story including the best of what used to be General Hospital. Appearances by Sonny, Carly, Jason, Lucky, Georgie, Jesse and more! The M rating is reserved for later chapters, and some rough language.
1. Part 1 - 3

_I don't own any of the following characters, although I wish I did, because I know exactly what I would do with them. The names and events being used in this story are for entertainment purposes only, to give the true fans of General Hospital a taste of what used to be as well as what could have been. I hope you review because I haven't written in a while and it would mean a lot to me to know what you all think! Thanks!_

**Port Charles, New York. A world in and of itself. A legendary town. A place  
where the original families had the last names of Quartermaine and Spencer and  
Scorpio and Baldwin. As time went by, new faces entered the scene and made the  
city their own. Jones. Cassadine. Ashton. Barrett. Corinthos. Jacks. The people  
in this town became intertwined, by chance and by choice, through good times and  
darker times. These people, each and every single one of them... Ned. Nikolas.  
Scotty. Robin. Laura. Carly. Lucas. Bobbie. Patrick. Mac. Luke. Georgie. Stone.  
Lulu. Jason. Monica. Elizabeth. Johnny...they came to Port Charles and made a  
home for themselves.**

These people are Port Charles.

This is just  
a glimpse at their never-ending story.

**1 - Lulu**

I was  
sixteen years old and in my room studying for a geometry exam with our dog,  
Foster, asleep on my lap, the night my father's business partners, Jason and  
Sonny came knocking on our door looking shaken; a sight that was strange to see  
on men who were otherwise unbreakable. It was a stormy night; of course. Bad  
things always happened on stormy nights, especially in Port Charles, the town  
where we lived. I had run down the stairs as soon as I heard Jason's SUV pull up  
the driveway, but my brother, Lucky, got to the door first.

Lucky had  
just turned twenty-one and was training to become a police officer. His choice  
in profession was giving our father early cause for a pre-mature heart attack,  
but Lucky wouldn't budge on the subject. Neither would my dad, who'd hated  
anyone in a position of authority since forever. Lucky wanting to join the wrong  
side of the law was like stabbing a knife in Luke Spencer's heart. While I had  
always been daddy's mischievous little princess, Lucky had been a carbon copy of  
our dad in the making. Before I was born, they were running around as a  
father-son con operation. Since our mom became ill, Lucky had been the one who  
had always been able to pull my dad back from the edge when he wandered off too  
far.

Lucky had opened the door on Sonny and Jason with an angry scowl on  
his face, "Do you know what time it is?"

"Lucky, you need to keep your  
voice down," Sonny warned, his tone naked and grim.

"Uncle Sonny," I  
whispered, taking the last few steps to stand in front of them, my eyes going  
from Sonny's haunted chocolate eyes to Jason's ice blue ones, "Jason, what's  
wrong?"

Sonny cursed softly under his breath. It was obvious he didn't  
want me here; not now. I reached out my hand to touch Jason's shoulder, but  
Jason looked away from me, unable to answer. My fingertips felt cold against the  
leather of Jason's jacket. I felt a shiver down my spine when Sonny looked over  
to me. He looked haunted. Like this was the last place in the world he wanted to  
be. His signature dimples which always made me smile were nowhere to be  
seen.

"Uncle Sonny," I whispered again, looking behind them to where the  
guards, Francis and John were standing. I looked over their shoulders, standing  
on my tiptoes, hoping to see someone else. "Daddy's coming right…" I  
whispered.

Lucky's calming hands fell on my shoulders, softly coaxing me  
back towards the stairs, "He's not your uncle, Lulu. Why don't you go upstairs  
and finish studying? We can all talk in the morning."

I shook myself free  
from my overprotective brother and stood in front of the man I called my uncle,  
even when Lucky told me not to. For Lucky, Sonny Corinthos symbolized everything  
that was wrong in Port Charles. Guns, strip clubs, violence, territory wars, and  
innocent bystanders. Lucky chose not to remember the most important thing about  
Sonny: Even though there was a lot of bad to him, he'd always been good to our  
family, to me and Lucky especially. Luke Spencer, our father in name and blood,  
had never been much for fatherly behavior, so it was Sonny that Lucky and I had  
counted on for pep-talks growing up, and it was Sonny and the boys who cheered  
Lucky on at soccer practice and came to my ballet classes back when I was seven  
years old and training to be a princess. Sonny was at most instances more our  
father than our own father had ever been. Lucky would never admit that, though.  
He chose a short-term memory. Admitting that Sonny Corinthos was a friend to the  
Spencers would shake Lucky Spencer's entire idea of balance.

"Lulu,  
maybe you should go upstairs while we talk," Jason began to suggest, scratching  
his ear nervously.

"Wait." I said, my eyes focusing on the stain at the  
front of Sonny's shirt, "That's not your blood. Your shirts are flawless. You're  
a neat freak. This means...this blood...daddy?"

"Oh God," Lucky  
whispered under his breath. I frantically looked between Lucky and Sonny,  
waiting for confirmation even though I already knew.

"Not daddy…" I  
whispered, "He's supposed to be coming home, working on his card tricks to  
prepare for the Haunted Star re-opening. We're going to re-open the casino and  
he's going to have something to look forward to every night other than a bottle  
or some adventure in some hole in the wall third world country. He's going to be  
ours again! He finally found something to hold him here in town, and you're  
saying… he's…?"

"Gone, Lulu. He's gone." Jason confirmed, saying what  
Sonny couldn't bring himself to say. "He didn't suffer."

"Of course he  
did." Lucky muttered cynically. "That's how people like you and my father die  
isn't it? You spend your lives leeching off the misery of others and then you  
get slaughtered like the animals you chose to be."

Sonny nodded,  
"Whatever you say, Luck."

"Yeah, Corinthos. Just like I said," Lucky's  
chin was defiant, even though I could see he was fighting an inner battle to  
keep it up. He needed to hate Sonny, or else nothing would make sense to him.

"That's enough," I whispered, my hand on my brother's chest, tears  
springing from my eyes. My other hand clutched Sonny's suit jacket, the silky  
material calming me. I stood torn between them, each man standing before me, an  
undeniable link of my own soul; a part of my family.

"No, Lulu. You  
love, Uncle Sonny, don't you? You look up to Jason like a brother?" Lucky was  
yelling at me, "This is who they are. They're people who bring news of death.  
It's who they are. It's what they do best. They come knocking in the dead of  
night, in shitty weather, and they tell you our deadbeat dad got himself killed  
because he'd rather be off conning strangers than loving his..."

"This  
isn't helping Lucky," Jason advised quietly, cutting him off with a warning in  
the tilt of his head.

Lucky stared back at him shooting daggers with his  
eyes, "YOU don't talk to me!" He warned. Lucky and Jason had issues that delved  
much deeper than Lucky's resentment of the mob, but I was too young at the time  
to know more about why my real brother hated the guy who I looked up to as a  
second brother. Lucky was clenching and unclenching his fists, and I worried  
that he would react and punch Jason in the nose, but Lucky was always good at  
keeping calm under pressure, so he kept his anger in check, looking to Sonny for  
answers, "What happened?"

"Lulu, honey," Sonny whispered to me, his eyes  
pleading with me to obey just this once, "Please go upstairs. I can't. I can't  
do this, not with you."

I nodded, knowing it was hard on Sonny to lose my  
father just as it was on us. Sonny had been my father's longest friend and Daddy  
had been one of the few people outside his close-knit organization that Sonny  
had ever let in. They had a history that spanned decades, running back to when  
Sonny had first come to Port Charles, as a nobody looking to strengthen his hold  
on an enemy's territory. My father had befriended him, as the bartender to  
Luke's Club, giving Sonny sage advice on the comings and goings in Port Charles.  
Sonny had soon learned after meeting my father and talking to him, that if you  
wanted to know the dirty about PC, Luke Spencer was the man to know.

I  
flashed a memory of the third grade, having Jenny White's mom drop me off at  
Luke's after school. She was terrified to walk me in and see four men, all in  
nice suits, sitting at the bar, chatting with my dad as he poured them shots of  
liquor. I remembered the feeling of Mrs. White's hand, squeezing my hand,  
worried for a moment for her own safety and mine. Then, Sonny looking over to  
her, giving her that smile of his, showing those dimples. Then, his hands were  
picking me up and twirling me around before handing me across the bar to my  
father. It was the safest feeling in the world, being around those men. "Welcome  
home from hell, Gumdrop," My father had smiled, referring to my school day,  
plopping a kiss on my forehead before fixing me up a Shirley Temple at the bar.

Now, a teenager with many memories of all the men below me, I sat  
quietly on the top flight of stairs and listened to them, talking in muffled  
whispers, thinking they were protecting me from the horrible reality that my  
father was dead. I knew none of these men would find it easy to deal with losing  
my father, but knowing I wasn't listening to the details made the loads on their  
shoulders a little less heavy to bear, so I gave them that. I sat upstairs and  
pretended not to be listening; it was all I could give them at the  
time.

Sonny explained how he had gotten a voicemail earlier in the night  
from my father, explaining that he'd found some rich old man out in Crimson  
Point to con out of his millions. Anthony Zaccarah would be the easiest mark  
ever, he'd said, before saying he had to go. Being familiar with the last name,  
Sonny had run out of his office behind The Paradise Lounge and had called Jason  
immediately. Both men had separately raced to Crimson Point, Francis and John  
following close behind them. By the time they'd gotten to the mansion, my father  
was already upstairs in Zaccarah's office, bleeding to death from a  
self-inflicted shot in the dead, an unlucky victim of a game of Russian  
Roulette. Zaccarah had held a gun to his head, forcing him to play. My father's  
luck had run out at a time he'd needed it the most. Anthony Zaccarah hadn't been  
the kind of man you could con.

I couldn't hear any more details. I  
hurried back into my room and threw on a long sweatshirt over my leggings and  
slipped my feet into a pair of flat-bottomed boots. Pulling my hair into a messy  
ponytail, I pushed up the window to my bedroom and ordered Foster to stay in  
place as I shimmied my way onto the trusty tree branch that would help me get  
downstairs to the side of the house without being detected. My head was aching  
and my eyes were blurry, the tears too much to control. I dropped my feet down  
into the rain puddles surrounding the old oak tree and pulled the hood of my  
sweatshirt over my head to shield me from the pounding rain. I needed to get as  
far away from the house tonight as possible. I ducked away from where Max, the  
newest of Sonny's guards, was standing and made my way over to Sonny's town car.  
I said a silent prayer as I pulled on the driver's side door and I couldn't help  
but utter thanks as it opened for me. I slipped into the driver's seat and  
immediately bent down to get to work trying to hotwire the thing. It would be a  
piece of cake to get this baby's motor running compared to Jason's SUV which  
took forever.

"Don't want to spoil your getaway, but you should know the  
guy whose car this is isn't the kind to mess around with." A voice from the  
backseat scared the crap out of me. I glanced back through the mirror and saw a  
pair of obsidian eyes staring back at me in the dark. The rain was pelting down  
on the windshield, sounding like bombs being dropped on us, but if I clicked  
open the door and screamed for help, Max would probably still hear me.

"Who …are you?" I whispered, my voice quivering. I thought of my dad.  
Never show weakness, Gumdrop; or they'll gut you alive.

"Maybe I should  
ask who you are." He said with a boyish grin on his face. "Seeing as how I was  
here first?"

I turned around and studied what I could make of his face  
in the stormy darkness. He was handsome from what I could tell and looked much  
older than me, but by the way he teased me with every word he spoke, I could  
tell he wasn't a day older than twenty. "Maybe you should tell me who the hell  
you are before I scream loud enough for Max to alert John and Francis. Francis  
sounds soft, but he's more like The Punisher in disguise."

"You know who  
The Punisher is?" He asked, nodding to himself, "Impressive."

"You're in  
Sonny's car, so I'm guessing you're not a threat," I told him, "But you need to  
get out because I have someplace I need to be."

"Where were you planning  
on going?" He asked.

"Anywhere but here," I muttered.

"Well I  
can't get rained on," He drawled slowly, his eyes locking on mine, "I'll  
melt."

"Listen, I'd love to let you boost your ego by flirting with me in  
the middle of a storm, but I'm not interested, especially not tonight." I  
whispered, "So please get the hell out!"

"First of all, it's not the best  
night of my life, either, but every second that passes I'm feeling better and  
better," He replied, "And second, if I was flirting with you, which I wasn't by  
the way... you'd know it."

I felt like my cheeks were burning hot from  
embarrassment. Was he trying to tell me I wasn't the type of girl he'd want to  
flirt with? I tried to shrug it off, reminding myself I had more pressing issues  
to deal with than this idiot and his cocky attitude. My father was dead. Luke  
Spencer would never again call me his gumdrop or princess.

"Well, I'm  
glad it's a good night for you, but it's a horrible night for me, so if you'd  
step the hell outside of the car and let me be on my way, I'd appreciate it!" I  
yelled.

"I'm not flirting or anything, so don't get your hopes up," He  
warned, "But you're kind of cute when you're all angry."

"Get out!" I  
screamed louder and he moved his hand to hold his ears, but I noticed he  
couldn't. It was because his hands were behind him, restraining him from moving  
them.

He realized I had figured out that he was being held in the car  
and smiled innocently, "You want to drive off and rescue me?"

"Who are  
you?" I asked, the color draining from my face as I realized he must have had  
something to do with my father's death. Why else would Sonny be bringing him out  
from that house alive and in handcuffs if he didn't have something to do with my  
dad?

"I'm Johnny Zaccarah, and don't worry, I won't try to hurt you." He  
laughed, nodding to his handcuffed state.

I stared at him in horror,  
wishing I had a gun in my hand, or a knife. A baseball bat would do. "You're  
related to…" I had to swallow the bile that rose up in my throat before I could  
even say the mad man's name, "Anthony Zaccarah?"

His laughing eyes  
sobered up and he looked at me curiously, the smile wiped from his mouth, "He  
was my father. But he's dead now." Johnny looked like he was happy at the fact  
that his father was dead. He must have been more of a lunatic than Anthony to  
react that way to his own dad's death. "What's it to you?"

"Everything."  
I whispered. "It's everything to me."

Tears sprung from my eyes and I  
did a stupid thing without thinking first. I flew my hands toward him as I  
leaned over the front seat to the back and I swung for his face. He moved to the  
side, grunting in surprise, and I reached for him again, my hands colliding with  
his face as my fingernails clutched at his skin. "I hate you!" I screamed, over  
and over again, my misery at losing my father breaking my wall of control, "I  
hate your fucking guts!"

He was calling out for me to calm down but I  
couldn't. I just screamed until my own ears hurt. The next thing I felt was wind  
swooshing in as the front door was pulled open and Jason's arms were coaxing me  
out of the car, "Lulu, come on, it's okay…" Jason whispered, as I collided into  
his chest, the safest I'd ever felt. He was never a man for words, but when he  
said the following, I struggled to believe him, "It's going to be  
okay."

Jason never lied. He'd been in a car accident a few years back.  
His older brother AJ, the drunk, had been driving and the car had ended up  
wrapped around a tree. AJ escaped without a scratch and Jason survived the  
insurmountable with a scrambled head. Uncle Sonny had given him a job when the  
rest of the world had treated him like he was broken. Jason knew one thing above  
all else; loyalty. When he cared about you, he would move heaven and earth to  
keep his promises. When he told me it would be okay, I trusted that one day, it  
might.

"He's a Zaccarah, Jason!" I cried, "Kill him!"

Jason  
looked at me in horror. I'd never referred to his role in Sonny's organization  
so bluntly before. Never. He didn't bat an eyelash, but then again, this was  
Jason; I didn't expect him to. "Sonny will explain everything, Lu." Jason  
promised, trying to lead me back to the house.

Through the open car  
door, with the little inside light turned on, I glanced to see Johnny Zaccarah  
staring out at me in confusion, trying to free himself from the restraints, but  
not saying anything. "It's a good night for you, huh?" I yelled out at him,  
wiping my eyes furiously to get the rain and tears off. "Well fuck you and I  
hope you rot in hell with your father!"

"Who the hell are you to talk to  
me like that?" He yelled back, "Do you know who you're talking  
to!?"

Jason slammed the door of the car shut with his foot and the rest  
of Johnny's tirade was drowned out. Jason gently put his arm around my shoulder  
and we began to walk. My feet were shaking and I was losing my balance. I  
collapsed against his side, thinking of my father's body, laying on the cold  
ground in some house, a creepy lunatic standing above him laughing. I put my  
head against Jason's shoulder and whispered, "I can't."

He nodded and  
bent down a little, scooping my legs out from underneath me, carrying me in  
steady quick strides to the house. Sonny was waiting for me at the door. Lucky  
had apparently already left, out on some mission to alert the police and arrest  
Anthony Zaccarah. Lucky didn't know what I already knew. Or maybe he did and he  
chose to ignore the knowledge. Anthony Zaccarah had messed with an important  
man. He was most likely already dead and buried.

"Honey, come here,"  
Sonny whispered, enveloping me in his arms. It felt good to exhale the breath I  
was holding. I was slippery and wet from the rain and getting his nice suit  
soggy, but he didn't care. He just did what he did best, squeezed me harder and  
shared my pain. "What happened out there?" Sonny asked Jason.

"Lulu met  
Johnny." Jason replied softly.

"I want to be there when it happens," I  
whispered, unlocking myself from Uncle Sonny's arms and staring back and forth  
between Jason and Sonny. "I want to be there when you kill Johnny  
Zaccarah."

My grief was talking and they knew it. Sonny smiled in concern  
and whispered, "No one's killing Johnny Zaccarah, Lu. His father did this. He  
had nothing to do with it."

"He was just sitting there, happy," I  
explained in shock, "Like it was just another night."

"Lulu, do you know  
how much trouble I'd be in if people were allowed to be judged for the sins of  
their fathers?" Sonny asked. "Johnny's just a kid. He's not who you should be  
angry at."

"Anthony is dead, isn't he?" I whispered, my eyes searching  
Sonny's validation.

"Lu, you don't know what you're saying," Sonny  
explained. They never talked business with me.

That was about to change.  
I grabbed Sonny's hand and squeezed it, "He's dead, right Sonny?"

Sonny  
looked to Jason, and back at me, taking his time before he nodded.

I  
nodded back and fell against his arms. "Thank you, Uncle Sonny."

I was a  
little girl thanking the man who had killed the man who had killed my father.

And this night was just the beginning of the story of my  
family.

**2 - Johnny**

The day of my emancipation began just  
like any other day before it in miserable Crimson Point. I'd woken up early and  
gone for a jog, as far out as my father's "handlers" would let me go on my own.  
After that, I'd come back to the house to take a warm shower and to go through  
my morning's worth of online college courses. I was nearly twenty years old and  
had never seen the inside of a classroom, but I refused to let my father's  
imprisonment of me harm my chances at a future. I knew that if I wanted to one  
day survive in a world that wasn't run by Anthony Zaccarah, I'd need to grow  
strong and I'd need to be smart. I wouldn't be one of those mobster's kids who  
grew up only knowing the way of the gun. I read the books the online teachers  
recommended on top of my coursework and I was getting good feedback from my  
online advisor. If I had been a real boy, in the real world, I would be on my  
way to success. But I was only pretending to be a normal guy. In reality, I was  
a prisoner yearning to be free. Every morning, I locked myself in my room and  
tried to educate myself for a future I hoped to have, but the odds were stacked  
against it. Anthony Zaccarah treated me as his last remaining possession in the  
world. I would never be free.

It was around two o'clock by the time I'd  
gotten myself downstairs to grab a bite to eat. My father was pacing in his  
office as I tried to pass by undetected. Nothing got by Anthony Zaccarah. The  
world considered the man certifiably insane, but I knew his secret; that he was  
sharp as a sword. "Johnny, where have you been?" He asked in that threatening  
little drawl of his.

"I was up in my room," I shrugged, "As  
always."

"I don't believe you. You didn't take out that deathtrap of a  
car, did you?" He asked, his eyebrow raised.

"No." I said angrily, trying  
to keep my tone in check so not to excite him, "Don't you remember you made  
Fredo take my keys?"

"Fredo, that goof." Anthony suddenly laughed, "He  
didn't tell me!"

"Well now you know," I muttered.

"You spend too  
much time on that computer of yours," Anthony whined, "You're not watching porn  
are you?" He shook his head, talking to himself, "Last thing I need is the Feds  
at my door trying to take me in for downloading copyrighted pictures of  
boobies."

I rolled my eyes. Sometimes he said this ridiculous stuff just  
to get under my skin. He thought I was soft and he hated me for it. He was  
constantly searching for ways to get a rise out of me; hoping I'd finally have  
enough, find my balls, and lash out at him, turning into a monster in his own  
image. "Don't worry. No porn on my machine." I said, heading for the door, "You  
should check Trevor's room if porn has got you worried."

"Trevor,"  
Anthony nodded and slapped my back a little too hard to be friendly, "That's my  
John, soft as a puddle of mud, but smart. Very smart you are, maybe too smart  
for your own good."

"I'll be in my room if you need me." I mentioned,  
heading out.

"Be downstairs in two hours, I need your attendance at the  
show." Anthony told me cheerfully. I had never before called him my dad.

I was about to ignore him altogether but he sounded sinister. The hairs  
on the back of my neck prickled up, "What show?" I asked, dreading the  
response.

"Some fool is coming over here thinking he's going to pull a  
fast one on me," Anthony smiled, walking to his desk drawer and pulling out his  
prized antique gun. "He's in for a surprise."

"Why do you need me?" I  
asked, feeling guilt and worry in my stomach for the poor guy who was going to  
walk into this house tonight not knowing it would be his last night on earth.  
There had been too many of them lately, unknowing innocents who hadn't left this  
place alive. My father's desire for madness was an appetite that was getting  
harder and harder to satisfy.

"I think it's time for your first kill,  
John." Anthony suggested.

"Go to hell," I muttered, walking out of his  
office and slamming the door, hoping to shut out his angry screams that  
followed.

Hours passed and I heard them talking downstairs. My father was  
laughing, probably telling his eccentric jokes that he repeated for every new  
visitor. While I usually put on my headphones and cranked the volume loud on  
nights like this; I couldn't this time. I found myself slowly walking down to  
the hallway outside my father's office as I heard him explaining to his guest  
his theory on Russian Roulette. He pulled out his gun, I saw from the slit in  
the double-doors, but this guest didn't immediately gasp like some others before  
him had done. He merely nodded, smiling.

"So, you're a man of chance,  
Mr. Zaccarah." The man with the white hair told my father, "So am  
I."

"Then you wouldn't mind playing?" Anthony suggested, handing him the  
gun, "Humoring the guy who's going to invest two hundred thousand dollars in  
your little boat?"

"The Haunted Star is definitely not little." The guest  
corrected, "Forget what you heard about the Titanic. My baby is the real ship of  
dreams."

"You go first." Anthony prodded, waiting for the guest to pull  
the trigger.  
It was already set up for the guest to lose. I knew that. The  
guards knew that. No one stopped my father, though. We were all stuck in his  
trap.  
The guest handed the gun back, "Why don't you begin, you are the host,  
after all?"

"No," Anthony warned, pulling out a second gun from behind  
his back, aiming at the man's head, "I insist."

The man nodded, "Oh, not  
a betting man, after all?" He nodded to himself and grabbed a glass of whiskey  
beside him on the table, taking a nice long gulp. He held the gun up to his  
head, straight in the middle of his eyes he held it. "I wouldn't want to miss  
and become a vegetable for the rest of my life," He smiled nervously.

I  
admired him. As sick as the situation was, he was going his own way. For that,  
he was worthy of admiration. The guest took a deep breath, but didn't close his  
eyes. He quickly pulled the trigger and it clicked, but nothing resulted. The  
guest took a deep breath and then a sly grin spread across his face, "Your turn,  
old man."

My father put his own gun down on the table behind him, the one  
closest to me, and quickly grabbed the first gun and aimed it at his own head,  
pulling the trigger quickly, knowing it wasn't loaded. A click, but nothing more  
came.  
He handed the gun back to the guest, "Shoot."

"No." The guest  
shook his head. "We each went once. That's one round. You only asked for one  
round."

"I said shoot." Anthony insisted. I knew the next click would  
have a bang connected to it, and it seemed the guest was weary of the same  
reality. He was done with my father's little game. It wasn't fun anymore. For  
me, it hadn't been fun from the beginning.

The guest grabbed the gun and  
shook his head disappointedly at my father, "I promised my kid a card game  
tonight."

"Tough luck," Anthony muttered, "Now shoot  
yourself!"

The guest laughed cynically. "You're one sick old man, you  
know that?" He picked up his own death sentence and aimed it for his head.  
Taking a long breath, he exhaled with a click…and then, nothing.

It  
didn't fire. My legs were about to collapse underneath me. I watched in horror  
as Anthony grabbed the gun and examined it, "You think you're lucky?"

He  
warned, "No one cheats me at Russian Roulette."

He aimed the gun at the  
guest. I couldn't take it anymore. Before I knew what I was doing, my legs were  
carrying me into the room, my hands were reaching out to grab my father's other  
gun, and I was aiming, at the back of my father's head. "He played your game,  
and he got lucky." I yelled, angry at the madness of it all, "Let him  
go!"

"John, son, go back up to your room," Anthony warned.

"I  
thought I had an invitation to the show," I released the safety and my father  
tensed. The guest was staring at me curiously, wondering if I had the balls to  
shoot my own father. I had imagined this moment a million times in my head. In  
my head, I always had courage when killing this man who'd brought so much pain  
to others. "Let him go." I warned again.

"You're not going to shoot me,"  
Anthony laughed, "He's soft." He told the guest.

"Do not shoot him!" I  
warned, "I'll kill you!"

Anthony stared into the guests eyes coldly.  
Whatever the guest saw in Anthony's eyes, must have been chilling, because right  
before my father pulled the trigger, blowing the man's brains out, the man said  
to me, "You did good, kid."

As he smiled at me, blood spattered around  
his face. His smile stayed in front of my eyes as I looked to my father, his gun  
now pointed at me. Before I could second guess myself, I thought of my mother  
and hoped she would forgive me from up in heaven. I pulled the trigger and shot  
several times, until the laugh coming from my father's mouth faded into a grown,  
and then silence.

I stood there for twenty minutes, frozen in place,  
just having killed my own father.

I was standing there, still holding  
the gun in my hand when one of my father's enemies, Sonny Corinthos, walked in  
with his enforcer, Jason Morgan. They had their guns drawn and yelled for me to  
put mine down. I gripped the gun in my hand and then just dropped back sitting  
on the couch, watching my father's lifeless body.

They were surveying  
the scene in shock. Corinthos stood with his gun on me as Morgan fell to his  
knees on the floor beside the guest, cradling his head in his arms as he  
whispered, "Dammit , Luke."

Sonny Corinthos had his eyes trained on me  
and he lowered his gun, even though I was still holding mine. He was looking at  
me curiously for reasons I couldn't bring myself to imagine. They were here to  
save this man and kill my father. Would they want to get rid of me, too? I  
couldn't imagine death; I had just begun to toy with the idea of finally living  
after so long.

"Sonny," Jason Morgan said, his gun pointed at my head,  
"Don't lower your weapon."

"Don't shoot him, Jason!" Sonny  
warned.

"Who are you?" Morgan asked me, his voice stone cold. He kept  
glancing at his boss, wondering why he was staring at me like that.

"Johnny," I whispered, knowing they'd finally figure out sooner or  
later. I stuttered as I said my last name, "Z..zaccarah." I looked at my father  
lying on the floor, hunched over, all the madness gone from him. He looked now  
like any old broken, bleeding, dead man. Even though I was in the company of  
strangers who probably wished to do me harm, the words just flew from my mouth,  
"I'd imagined doing it a million times, but I never brought myself to do it  
before. I worried I would feel regretful afterward."

"What do you feel  
now?" Sonny Corinthos asked me. He was eyeing me curiously.

It was the  
first time I'd seen him up close. He didn't look too dangerous, even though I  
knew he was the head of an empire that rivaled my father's. He still wasn't  
taking his eyes off of me in a way that made me a little  
uncomfortable.

"Are you going to kill me?" I asked slowly. I had just  
been given my free ticket to life. I wasn't ready to lose it  
yet.

"Depends on how this situation makes you feel." Sonny  
shrugged.

"Free." I whispered, dropping the gun onto the floor and  
covering my eyes with my hands as I sunk into the couch, "I feel free from  
him."

I sat there on the couch as Jason and Sonny and their men went to  
work wiping any traces of my presence on the gun or their own presence in the  
room altogether. I wondered why they were helping me. I hoped I wasn't being  
lured into a trap. I didn't have my father's deceitful ways or his animal  
instinct. When someone told me they weren't going to harm me, I believed  
them.

"What's going on, Sonny?" Jason asked his boss. I could hear them  
from across the room.

"He reminds me of him," Sonny  
whispered.

"Who?" Jason asked.

"Stone." Sonny whispered.

No more questions were asked. Morgan nodded and looked at me, not seeing  
the resemblance to whoever this Stone was, but accepting Sonny's decision not to  
have me killed nonetheless. When the clean-up crew's job was complete, Sonny  
walked over to me and said, "Johnny, I know you're not thinking straight right  
now. But, I'm not your enemy. I don't know what you've had to deal with here,  
but I'm telling you there's a world out there where you can move on and forget  
the sins of your father. If you want to stay here and claim your family title,  
I'll respect that. I won't harm you. But if you want to be free of it; you can  
come with us, and I'll help you…"

"Why would you want to help me?" I  
asked, my face in a scowl as I stared up at him, trying to figure him  
out.

He was silent for a long while as he exhaled a deep breath. "Because  
you remind me of a kid I used to know that I couldn't save."

Stone, I  
thought to myself. I looked around my father's office. No family photos lining  
the fireplace. No warmth. No colors. Only red, the color of blood, the only  
color in the entire room. I looked up at him and said in my strongest voice, "I  
won't be a mobster."

"No problem." He nodded, "I'll find you something to  
do. You a good bartender?"

As we walked out of Crimson Point, I felt a  
load was being lifted from my shoulders. "What are you going to do with the  
house?" I asked as Sonny showed me to the back seat of his car.

"I  
haven't thought about it yet." Sonny shrugged.

"Burn it," I told him, and  
he nodded, liking the suggestion.

As we rode in silence, I looked in the  
rearview to see flames gaining life behind us. Soon, the prison I had known of  
as home would be ashes burnt to the ground. Sonny explained on the drive that he  
needed to make a stop, and that it couldn't wait. He didn't want me getting  
jittery and running off to the police, so he asked if I would mind if he  
handcuffed me to prevent my escaping. I should have been worried, maybe, but the  
way he asked if I would mind eased my worries. I nodded as Sonny's guard, Max,  
cuffed me. They put me back in the seat and told me to stay put.

It was  
raining hard and pellets of water were slamming all against the windshield. As  
the minutes passed, I realized more and more what freedom from my father would  
mean. No more handlers following me like shadows. No more crazy violence and  
games of Russian Roulette. I made a list in my mind of things I could have now  
that I'd always wanted: Privacy, Education, a Job, a Girlfriend. The last  
thought was the most appealing. After all, I was twenty and had never been able  
to go on more than one date for fear that my father would find out and my  
girlfriend would end up dead. My only kiss had been two years ago, with one of  
my father's lawyer's legal assistants who'd come by the house to drop off some  
papers. She'd come across me working out and had shamelessly flirted until we  
ended up making out on one of the weight-lifting benches, her in my lap until  
we'd heard my father coming. I'd warned her she'd be dead if she ever tried to  
contact me.

That was my first and last sexual experience in life. I  
expected that to change, though. Real soon.

I was lost in these thoughts  
when the driver's side door suddenly was pulled open and a girl half my size  
with long blonde hair jumped into the front seat, bending over and muttering to  
herself about hotwiring the car. I checked her out as well as I could in the  
dark. She looked hot to me.

"Don't want to spoil your getaway, but you  
should know the guy whose car this is isn't the kind to mess around with." It  
sounded cool in my head but I felt like a doofus as the words came out of my  
mouth. I welcomed the distraction this girl provided; taking my mind off from  
the horror of what I had done tonight.

She whispered slowly, turning  
around, "Who..are you?"

I didn't want her afraid of me. A lifetime of  
watching people fear my father  
and his name, I didn't want to have that kind  
of effect on people, "Shouldn't I be asking you who you are, seeing as how I was  
here first?"

She didn't smile. She was supposed to smile at that. The  
flirting was awkward. Maybe she was having a bad night, and it looked like she  
was, from her mascara-stained eyes. Or, maybe I needed to learn how to talk to  
girls. Whatever it was didn't matter because as soon as I said my full name, she  
was on top of me, and not in a good way.

I felt her fingernails scratch  
against the side of my face and it burned. I wasn't used to this feeling of  
being hated. I was usually the one hating others; especially my father and his  
men. No one who had ever been close enough to talk to me had been reckless  
enough to confront the son of a madman. "Get off of me!" I groaned and my  
eardrums were shattered by her voice, screaming over and over, "I hate  
you!"

Morgan came and pulled open the door and pulled her off of me.  
Whatever he was saying to her, she seemed to calm down. I watched him pick her  
up in his arms like she was a fragile doll, even though her smart mouth told me  
otherwise. Somehow, the way she rested her forehead against the enforcer's chest  
like it was the most natural place in the world for her head to be; it bothered  
me.

"It's a good night for you, huh?" She yelled out at me, wiping her  
eyes furiously to get the rain and tears off. "Well I hope you rot in hell with  
your father!"

"Who the hell are you to talk to me like that?" I yelled  
back, "Do you know who you're talking to!?" Jason slammed the door of the car  
shut with his foot, so she didn't hear me call her a crazy twirp. Before she  
died, my mom had taught me to always respect women; that's why twirp was the  
worst word that came to mind to call this girl who had just attacked  
me.

I watched as she whispered something to Jason. A flash of lightning  
caused me to see her face right for the first time. She was gorgeous, and as  
Jason carried her, I realized how frail she looked. Something bad had happened  
to her and as the pieces fell together, I realized that I was right in the  
middle of it. My reason for happiness was the cause of her pain. My father had  
killed someone important to this girl. And I was condemned to be hated for it.  
For my father, and for the name he gave me; Zaccarah.

My name was my  
curse even with Anthony Zaccarah dead and gone.

**3 -  
Lulu**

When my cousin Lucas's dad, Tony Jones, died a couple of years  
ago of a heart attack, I remember it felt like the world had ended. One day Tony  
was alive, and all was right. The next day, he was gone and Lucas dropped out of  
school, bills began stacking up outside Aunt Bobbie's door, and she began  
working like a slave to pay off all the necessities, as best they could do  
without a doctor's salary to help them. Lucas suffered an identity crisis and  
Bobbie began drinking. It all fell apart and no matter how much time passed, it  
could never be put back together again. Not the way it used to be.

That's  
how losing a father was supposed to effect a family. In our house, Luke  
Spencer's daily presence wasn't a tangible loss. He hadn't always steadily  
watched over us; instead leaving us alone to fend for ourselves months on end  
while he was off on one adventure or another. Still, knowing we could come home  
one day and find him holding his bottle of Jameson as he sat on the couch; it  
had been something adventurous to look forward to.

With dad gone, Lucky  
spent more and more time at the Police Station, taking extra shifts, just to  
stay away from the house we'd grown up in. That left me.

Winter turned  
into Spring and soon, an entire season passed in Port Charles. I found myself  
spending more and more time alone. Sonny and Jason were busy with their new  
family member; Johnny Zaccarah, the next best thing since Cool Whip, and I was  
the odd one out. As much as they tried to include me in their activities of  
daily living, I found it hard to share the same space as the kid whose father  
had killed mine. We crossed each other's paths from time to time, but I never  
let myself talk to him like another human being. He was just some guy I'd nod to  
like I would any other bum on the street. He was just some guy; or so I told  
myself.

The other half of my household found it easier to pretend that my  
father had never existed. Lucky ascended in ranks at the police force and was  
determined to dedicate himself to bringing down the criminals of Port Charles.  
The same criminals who had always wanted what was best for me; and for  
him.

I tried to bury my head in school, but I'd never been much for books  
and my grades slipped, as was natural given the circumstances. After a while, I  
stopped going altogether, realizing that the truancy notices all came to the  
door; the same door my brother was pained to walk through lately. No one knew,  
except for some of my friends, that I was giving up on the future altogether.  
What was the point? What was the point of everything if your mother was in an  
asylum for the brain-challenged, your father was under the earth, and your  
brother refused to look you in the eye? There was no point.

It was May in  
Port Charles and in one month, my friends would be attending graduation,  
receiving their diplomas, and smiling in greeting to the future. Maxie Jones  
would go off to make her way in the fashion world. Damien Spinelli would go be  
some brilliant computer dude. I would...

Sitting on a chair at an outside  
table at Kelly's, playing with a plate of fries, I envied the people my age  
around me. I envied them to the point of hatred; hating their smiles, their  
laughs, the carefree way they joked around with each other and discussed their  
weekend plans. I tried not to pay attention to them or not to pay attention to  
the nagging feeling of dread in my heart, telling me what I was missing most  
about life.

"Mind if I have a seat, sweetheart?" A stranger asked,  
interrupting my thoughts, "It's a little crowded out here."

I looked to  
the table next to me, which was empty and back at the short, balding man in the  
cheap suit. What worried me most wasn't his beady eyes that reaked of something  
sinister, but the guy standing behind him who looked like he was carrying a gun  
at his side.

"Listen, I'm nobody; and even if I was somebody, it wouldn't  
be anybody you'd want to mess with," I warned through gritted teeth, trying not  
to call any attention to myself. My old friends from school already thought I  
was turning into a recluse; they didn't need to know I had a target on my back  
as well. The news would reach Lucky in a heartbeat.

"You have a big mouth  
for a little girl," He smiled, and he looked like the sleazebags who used to get  
drunk and hit on my mom when I was a kid and we were picking up my dad from  
outside Sonny's lounge when he'd had one too many to drive home, "You know what  
they do to occupy a big mouth, don't you honey?"

"You need to leave me  
the hell alone before I scream," I warned him.  
His hand reached out and  
grabbed mine, squeezing hard, "You need to respect the man who decides if you  
live or die."

"The only person here deciding who lives or dies is the one  
with his gun pointed at your chest, Sorel," Johnny came out of nowhere and held  
out his free hand to me, pulling me up and shielding me behind him. I found my  
fingers absentmindedly gripping the back of his shirt, peeking over his shoulder  
as I watched the stranger's eyes widen in surprise. Across the shocked crowd, I  
could see Maxie's eyes raking over Johnny in a curious way.

"You're  
making a mistake, kid," The stranger warned, "Saying my name like  
that."

"You just made a mistake breaking the peace." Johnny said  
confidently, "And you're going to pay the consequences."

"Johnny," I  
whispered, begging him silently in my head not to provoke the man with the  
sinister eyes.

"Your girlfriend is scared, Romeo," The man taunted, "So  
either shoot me or run away with your tail between your legs. Either way; you'll  
see me again."

"I look forward to it," Johnny told him  
confidently.

"See you soon, little girl with the big mouth," The man  
said, smiling at me in a way that made me feel uneasy. I averted my eyes from  
his gaze. "Romeo, I'll bet you love that mouth on your..."

Johnny  
stepped to the right, shielding him from seeing me, "You don't talk to her,  
don't cross her path again," Johnny warned coldly, "Or the next bullet in my gun  
will go through your eyes."

"We'll see who gets the first shot, kid," He  
reached down and dug his fatty hand into my plate of fries, "Thanks for lunch,  
Ms. Spencer."

Johnny turned to me once they were gone and found my knees  
wobbling as his hands reached out to steady me, "It's okay," He promised  
soothingly, "You're okay. It was a mistake. He probably thought you were someone  
else."

I solemnly looked into his eyes, and even though he was trying his  
best to sugar coat it, I couldn't let him take me for a fool, "It wasn't a  
mistake." I whispered, stating the obvious, "He knew my name."

"We need  
to go to Sonny," Johnny suddenly remembered, rational thought coming back to  
him.

"Like hell you do," Lucky and his partner arrived on scene, their  
badges glinting against the sun. "You alright, Lulu?"

I took a breath to  
steady my nerves and replied, "I'm fine, what's going on?"

I knew where  
this was leading. Growing up around Sonny and Jason, I'd seen it a hundred times  
before. Johnny was standing in front of me, and I stepped behind him, pretending  
I was just shrugging off my jacket. Partially hidden from view, I softly reached  
for Johnny's gun, tucked in his back at the waist and I pulled it out quickly,  
wrapping it against my coat as I turned to face my brother. Even though I could  
feel him tense up in surprise, Johnny didn't say a word.

"We got a call  
some guy pulled out his weapon on Lulu Spencer and some guy in a suit," Lucky  
explained, his hands on Johnny's shoulders as he forcibly turned him around and  
pushed him against the wall, "You wouldn't be carrying a gun, would you, Mr.  
Zaccarah?"

Lucky searched Johnny and came up empty.

He was  
visibly angry, "Lulu you stay the hell away from this guy and the hell away from  
Sonny, you hear me?"

"Are you going to be sticking around at home more to  
make sure that happens?" I snorted in disgust. My brother was such a hypocrite.  
I didn't matter enough to him for him to stay to support me in our loss, but he  
didn't want me around Sonny either. "Well, Sonny's the only father figure I have  
left and the only person whose ever been a real brother to me is Jason Morgan,  
not you!"

"Jason?" Lucky laughed to himself, nodding, "Jason's your  
brother?"

"Yeah." I nodded.

"Jason is a con artist. A brain dead,  
lying sack of stab you in the back.." Lucky quieted down as Sonny approached,  
"Here he is now, the Godfather of Port Charles. Don't worry, Lulu's alive...this  
time."

"Lucky," I warned, wishing he wouldn't make a scene.

"Mr.  
Corinthos, I have a few questions for you regarding your warehouse that was set  
on fire last night at Pier 43." Lucky explained, "You wouldn't mind coming with  
me, would you?"

"Not as long as my lawyer meets us there, Cowboy." Sonny  
whispered.

It was a low blow to use that nickname, and I felt my brother  
wince. I knew in my gut that Sonny wasn't the kind of guy who wanted to hurt my  
brother by calling him the nickname my dad always did. It was just that Lucky  
had been so bad to him lately, a thorn in their sides. He had even gone so far  
as to ban Sonny from his own best friend's funeral. Sonny wasn't egging him on  
because he hated cops; no. Sonny was just angry that the kid he raised as a  
nephew was turning on him. It hurt to lose my dad and Lucky along with  
him.

"You want to take in the kid, too?" Detective Cruz asked.

"No, Mr. Corinthos will do for now," Lucky replied.

Before they  
took him, Sonny leaned over to Johnny and whispered for him to take me straight  
back to Sonny's penthouse and wait for him. As soon as they were gone and it was  
just me and Johnny, I turned to leave and his hand looped around my arm, pulling  
me back, "Where do you think you're going? Sonny told me to take you to his  
place."

"Since when do you think I started taking orders?" I asked,  
shrugging like I didn't care. I just wanted to get home, into my room, under the  
covers, put on a soft record and listen to music that made me forget about life.  
Forget about the man who threatened my life or that my dad was dead and that my  
brother had just arrested a man who loved us like his own kids.

My arm  
felt warm in his and I had to remember to breathe steadily because for some  
reason, breathing was hard to do when Johnny was close. "Since when did you  
start carrying a gun?" I whispered, "I thought you were determined to be  
different."

"I'm already different, Lulu." Johnny whispered, "Can't you  
tell this is just what I need right now, until I can move on to something  
better?"

He wanted to move on to something better, which meant that  
Johnny would be leaving soon. I had heard some guards talking about how the  
Zaccarah kid refused to get involved in the darker aspect of Sonny's business.  
It had been an interesting revelation. I had admired Johnny for that. Now, he  
was carrying a gun and threatening men who seemed pretty serious. I was worried  
that he would get sucked into the life he desperately wanted to avoid and it  
would be because of me.

"Hiya, I'm Maxie Jones," She was in front of us,  
wasting my breathing space, her eyes shooting daggers at Johnny as she held out  
her manicured little hand to him. "That cop said your name's Johnny,  
right?"

"Right," Johnny nodded, looking to me for some back-up. I didn't  
provide him any. Of course Maxie would want to hit on the first guy she saw me  
talking to. It was what she did best; steal what was mine. From malibu barbie in  
the fifth grade to Logan Hayes in eighth grade to the dress my brother Nikolas  
bought for me for Sophomore Homecoming.

"You're new in town, aren't  
you?" Maxie smiled, playing with her hair, "You know, I'm really good at showing  
people around.."

I laughed at the suggestive tone of her voice. To me, it  
sounded desperate. Who would want to be with someone who'd been around the block  
so many times she was an expert at it? I didn't even glance at Johnny. He was  
probably drooling and falling for her flirting. Every guy eventually  
did.

"Listen, I'm here with Lulu so I'd appreciate it if you could tone  
it down a little," Johnny said, dismissing her easily, as he turned to me with  
his hand on my shoulder, "You ready to get out of here?"

I was surprised  
by him. I ignored the way Maxie looked like her head was about to explode and I  
nodded, "Yeah, I'm ready." I smiled. Johnny knew I rarely smiled at him so it  
was obvious I was only being nice because I was getting a kick of sticking it to  
Maxie.

He said softly, "My car's in the alley. We can head back to my  
place if that's good with you?"

I nodded and he placed his hand on the  
small of my back, guiding me to the alley behind Kelly's where he'd parked his  
yellow Mustang. He opened the passenger door for me and ran around to the  
driver's side. I leaned over and unlocked his door for him. As he turned on the  
ignition and revved his car's engine, I noticed Johnny's eyes change. It was as  
if he had come alive. He backed out of the alley and I couldn't help but wave at  
Maxie as she stood on the street corner with a scowl on her overly-made-up face,  
waiting for the bus.

"Thanks for doing that.." I whispered, "I know I  
seemed pathetic, but.."

"She gets under your skin." Johnny shrugged, "A  
lot of people get under my skin. It was kind of fun watching her strain against  
the Botox to smile at me."

I laughed at his diss against Maxie. "Well,  
thanks again. Maxie rarely doesn't get what she wants."

"Well, this time  
she doesn't get what she wants." Johnny said confidently, as if he was making me  
a promise.

"Don't stay away on account of me," I whispered, not wanting  
him to think he had to stay away from Maxie because my feelings would be hurt.  
"I wouldn't care either way."

He glanced at me, and he wasn't smiling.  
Then, he turned his attention to the radio, changing the dial until he found  
something instrumental. He was silent the rest of the way to Harborview Towers  
and I wondered if it was because he didn't like me saying that I didn't care if  
he got with Maxie. Why would that make him upset, I wondered. Unless... did he  
like me? Not a chance. I had hated him since I first learned his name and I  
hadn't given him the time of day since. He probably thought I was an ice queen.

It was dark by the time we reached Sonny's and after the guard, Francis,  
let us in, I went around the living room clicking on lamps. None of them  
provided too much light. I had always nagged Sonny about getting brighter lights  
and he'd always replied, "Honey, then how am I going to seduce all my  
women?"

Johnny dropped his car keys on the table by the door and he  
watched me, unsure of what to do. "Why do you walk on eggshells around me?" I  
asked bluntly.

"Isn't it obvious?" He shrugged. We shared an  
uncomfortable laugh.

"I'm not going to freak out on you like I did the  
first time we met," I said, remembering there was something wrapped in the coat  
I was holding. I pulled out the gun and held it up to him, "I forgot to give you  
this.."

He strode over to me and grabbed the gun, hiding it away in the  
desk drawer. I sat down on the ottoman, like Carly always did. It drove Sonny  
nuts. An ottoman was like a table, he'd told me a million times before, not a  
couch. Johnny excused himself to the kitchen and disappeared for a while, coming  
back out with two mugs. "Hot Chocolate, ok?" He asked.

I nodded and  
reached for a mug and he sat down on the couch, facing me. I saw he'd thrown a  
couple of marshmallows into my mug and I tried to hide my smile as I flicked  
them around with my fingertip to immerse them in the hot cocoa. "You don't  
strike me as the type of guy to like marshmallows," I told him.

"You're  
the one surprised by me?" He asked, "Are you kidding? I still don't get how you  
knew to take my gun."

I shrugged, "I didn't think twice," I whispered  
like it was no big deal.

"Most girls I know wouldn't be so smart." He  
explained, giving me a roundabout compliment.

"Well I'm not most girls,"  
I told him.

"Believe me, I've noticed," He muttered, before taking a sip  
of his drink.

My eyes darted up and I watched him curiously. He looked  
like he was about to blush. My last relationship had been the freshmen year of  
high school so I wasn't in tune with men and their mixed signals. If he wanted  
me to know he liked me, why wouldn't he right out say it? He was probably just  
being nice because he didn't want Sonny to think I hated him.

"What do  
you do here all day?" I asked curiously. I hadn't been around much and never  
asked Jason or Sonny about Johnny even when running into them.

"I do  
odd-jobs for Sonny if he asks me to. Jason sometimes takes me down to his garage  
and we work on engines together." Johnny shrugged, "I drive around a lot by  
myself."

"It must be hard adjusting.." I whispered, not wanting to  
mention his past or his family.

"Where I am now is a million times better  
than where I used to be." He explained, "And my room even has a view of the  
harbor," Johnny smiled. His smile was sobering and he nodded to himself as he  
confided in me, "Whoever Stone was; and I still haven't gotten comfortable  
enough to ask. I'm pretty lucky to remind Sonny of him; because he's been really  
good to me."

"Stone Cates was the brother Sonny never had," I explained.  
"I was just a baby when Stone died, but he and Lucky, they were really close.  
Lucky still talks about him sometimes, when he's remembering a good memory from  
the past. Stone was always in the good memories for all them, Lucky and Sonny  
and my dad."

"Why did he die?" Johnny asked.

"Stone, contracted  
HIV from a girlfriend who was a drug addict, before Sonny turned his life  
around," I explained, from what I remembered hearing around. "Stone's death  
changed Sonny. He went all dark for a while, and then, little by little, Carly,  
my cousin, she pulled him out of it. And ever since he met you, it's like he has  
a second chance to save Stone, or...at least that's how I see it."

"I  
know you didn't have to tell me any of this," Johnny said softly, leaning over  
and placing his hand gingerly over mine, which was on my knee, "But I really  
appreciate it."

He was leaned in and it was all innocence and gratitude,  
but I felt my face flush all the same. I wasn't used to a guy, especially a guy  
as cute as Johnny Zaccarah, having his face inches away from mine. I just nodded  
gently and hoped he would sit back again and let me breathe. Then again, it felt  
so good with his warm hand on mine and his fresh-scented cologne invading my  
nose for me to want him to retreat.

He did sit back though; when the door  
was pushed open.

Sonny strode in, shrugging off his suit jacket and  
undoing his tie from around his neck. He tossed it onto his desk like he hated  
ties. It was the old Sonny coming back to play; whereas the new Sonny wouldn't  
be caught dead outside a suit. I had been young, but if I strained my memory far  
enough, I could remember a picnic in the park with my parents, Lucky, Sonny and  
his one-time girlfriend, Brenda, and Stone and Robin. Everyone had been waiting  
for Sonny who brought fancy Italian sandwiches as opposed to the hot dogs and  
buns we'd all agreed on. Everyone was surprised that he was wearing jeans with a  
polo shirt as opposed to his fancy tailor-made suits. When my dad had poked fun  
at him, he'd admitted that Stone was having this effect on his fashion sense.  
Stone always knew how to make Sonny lighten up. Having a younger brother would  
do that to you.

"You alright, Lulu?" Sonny asked. I was the first thing  
on his mind even though he'd just been put through another grueling,  
time-wasting interrogation courtesy of my brother. "Come here, honey."

I  
walked over to him and he enveloped me in a hug. "I've missed you," I admitted  
to him, feeling guilty for staying away.

"I know," He nodded, releasing  
me only to shake Johnny's hand. "Thank you for watching out for her."

"Of  
course." Johnny nodded. I liked the way he said it, and I even felt guilty for  
hating him. He hadn't killed my father after all; his father had.

"Now  
that you see I'm alright," I told Sonny, "I need to get out of here. No one's  
fed Foster today."

"Lulu, the man who approached you today, his name is  
Joseph Sorel," Sonny explained, stressing every word, "He doesn't kid  
around."

"Okay, so I won't tell him any knock-knock jokes this time," I  
promised, grabbing my coat.

"Lulu..." Sonny groaned, knowing I was like  
Carly and that he couldn't boss me around like he could others.

"I'll be  
fine, Sonny," I promised, turning the door knob.

"Oh, I know you'll be  
fine.." He called out, and I smiled. He'd given in. Or not. He continued in a  
sing-song voice, "You'll be fine because Johnny's your new shadow until I figure  
out what Sorel's planning."

I turned around with a look of shock in my  
eyes, not sure how I felt or what this meant for the future.


	2. Part 4 - 7

**4 - Lulu**

Johnny Zaccarah was a thorn in my side.

He showed up at my front door step the morning after the Sorel incident and knocked three times, holding a tray with two coffees and a bag with pastries in it. His smile quickly faded into a frown when he saw me, my hair a mess and my body enveloped in a frayed old robe. I held some tissues in my mouth and pretended to cough up a lung.

"You ok?" He asked, seriously concerned. I felt bad at how easy this would be.

I nodded and blew my nose, "I'm staying in today, so I don't need you here."

He nodded and handed me the coffee. Thinking twice, he took the coffee back, "Not good for a sore throat," He reminded me. I was disappointed to not get the coffee, but I waved goodbye and closed the door before shrugging off my robe to reveal my jeans and sweater.

The next day, he called my cellphone, saying he got the number from Sonny, and I pretended to have lost my voice, although I did whisper assurances that I would be fine. He stayed away the second and third day, only checking up on me by phone.

The fourth day, he was onto me.

"I can't go in today, Johnny," I whispered, my head leaning against the door as if I was too weak to stand still,

"There's a rule about kids who are sick not coming in. It could start an epidemic."

"Oh yeah?" He asked, peeking inside the house, "Your brother home?"

"No, Lucky's at the station," I replied.

He took that as an invitation to come inside and he strolled around, as if he wasn't sure what he should do next. The pictures on top of the fireplace mantle stole his attention and he walked over and began looking at them curiously.

"We never kept memories at my house." He found a picture of me, standing in front of my mom, who was bending down and placing a kiss on my forehead, and he muttered, "We didn't make memories."

It was sad and uncomfortable. I forced myself to cough and I said, "You could get sick, and Sonny doesn't like germs and stuff, so that could ruin your living situation you know.."

"If you were sick, you wouldn't look as good as you do, so you can drop the act." He said.

"You have no right to accuse me of lying!" I exclaimed, forgetting that I had supposedly lost my voice as his comment made my cheeks turn blushing red. "Who do you think you are?"

"Listen Lulu," He said, holding up his hands in surrender, "I don't want to argue. I'm not here to make you go to school, and it's your business you're not going, but I am here to guard you, so you can stop avoiding me and just let me do my job."

"I'm going to school, I'm just sick, so.." I began to explain.

He was upset, "Sonny Corinthos, one of the most ruthless men in the business, gave me a chance. I don't want to disappoint him, ok?" He looked around like this was the last place he wanted to be, "I don't like it either, but I'm sticking to my orders. You act anyway you want, cough up a lung or two, I'm not leaving."

I was surprised by his honesty and I tried to hide the fact that I was a little hurt by his reluctance to want to spend time with me. I hadn't made it easy for him, that's for sure, slamming the door on his smiling face the first day he showed up with breakfast. Francis and Max were sweethearts, but they'd never brought me breakfast before with a goofy expression on their face.

"You bring breakfast today?" I asked, my throat sounding clear and normal as I shrugged off my robe to reveal my velour pants and hoodie that I was wearing underneath. It was my cutest outfit if I did say so myself.

"Do you think you deserved breakfast after what you've put me through the past couple of days?" He asked.

"I can make us something.." I suggested, heading for the kitchen.

I almost made it before he called my name, "Wait," He said, and he headed for the front door. I worried for a second that he'd seen someone outside. He disappeared for a couple of seconds and reappeared holding a tray of coffee and another bag of pastries.

I watched him with this heartfelt expression in my eyes, "Have you been bringing me breakfast every morning?"

"This wasn't for you," He replied defensively, shrugging, "I'm a growing boy." I nodded, "Sure you are.." and shook my head as I cleared some room on the coffee table.

"I didn't bring it for you," He insisted.

"Okayy, Johnny," I nodded, taking a sip from my coffee and sighing happily as the caffiene hit my system. "Whatever you say.."

"Why don't you just stop being a brat and grab your books?" Johnny suggested, "The day will pass by easier if we don't have to spent it together."

I slammed down my coffee cup on the table screaming, "Fine!", before heading upstairs. He was already waiting for me in his car by the time I got ready, applying some makeup to my face and curling the ends of my hair.

"Took you long enough," He muttered, glancing at me before turning his attention to the road ahead, "You going to school or a fashion show with all that makeup?"

I turned to face him with a scowl on my face. "Why are you nice one minute and an ass the next minute?"

"Oh, so I'm an ass now?" He asked, sounding as if I was the one sending mixed signals.

He stopped at Overlook Road to let a jogger cross the road. I grabbed my bag and flung open the passenger side door, disappearing quickly up the familiar trail. I could hear him calling my name over his loud engine, and I smiled as the fresh air hit my nose and I looked ahead to see there was no one at the clearing. I turned a few corners and found my favorite bench overlooking the city of Port Charles. Tossing my bookbag on the ground, I leaned back and wrapped my arms around my knees, glad to be here as opposed to school or in some car with Johnny.

I lost track of my anger at the world and lost sense of time in this place. I was glad to have a moment of silence and clarity in this place; his favorite of all places.

"That was so stupid..." He said, panting as he caught up with me.

I glanced up at him and rolled my eyes, trying to hide my smile. "Did you have a fun uphill walk from the parking area?" I asked him.

"You think you'd be safe here, Lulu?" He asked, looking around, "If Joseph Sorel and his thugs decided they wanted to grab you, or wanted to hurl you off the railing, do you think your smart mouth could fend them off?"

"Let them try," I shrugged, turning my attention back to the view.

He was standing in front of me angry, "Don't you care what happens to you?"

"You seem to care a whole lot." I smirked.

"God, she thinks everything is a joke," He whispered to himself.

"You know what's not a joke?" I asked, standing up and walking to the ledge with my hands stuffed in my pockets. I glanced at him to make sure he was paying attention, "My dad was here with me the day before he died...and now he's gone. That's not a joke, is it Johnny?"

His face became clouded with guilt.

"I didn't say that to blame you, Johnny," I whispered, "I don't blame you for my father. Just like you don't blame

Uncle Sonny for yours." I watched his expression turn even more curious and I ran my fingertips along the stone ledge of the Overlook; it was calling to me.

"I'm not going to keep going back to the past," Johnny shrugged, "If I do, I'll drown in it."

"You know what my dad taught me to do when the world is trying to drag you down?" I asked him curiously.

"What?" He whispered, like he was open to suggestions.

I grabbed onto the ledge and gracefully lifted myself up until I was standing on it, my hands stretching outward for balance. He stepped toward me, warning me to be careful, but instead of paying attention, I warned him not to try to coax me down. "I've done it a hundred times; I promise."

I smiled as the wind greeted me and I felt the even fresher air hit my nostrils. After a moment or two, I glanced down to watch Johnny staring at me with awe and a bit of fear. I had to ask him, "Are you going to drown or are you going to get up here with me?"

"People think I'm the crazy one.." He replied, glancing down at the drop below us.

"Either focus on the bottom or think about the flight," I shrugged, thinking of my dad balancing with one foot, inviting the fall.

I reached out my hand and he nervously took it, easing himself up on the ledge to stand beside me. "I can't believe I'm doing this," He said to himself, shaking his head as he came to terms with the fact that he was standing two inches away from a thousand foot fall.

Our hands were tightly entwined and I glanced over at him and whispered in encouragement, "Close your eyes...and feel the wind at your face," I told him, "My dad always said here is where he felt most alive."

"Everything about you is going to surprise me, isn't it?" He whispered. He looked like he might be excited in the idea of finding out more and more about me.

"You think you're so smooth, don't you?" I asked, not believing that a guy like Johnny would find the time of day to flirt with a loser like me.

"You know, you better watch out kid, because when you talk like that," He whispered, "It makes me think you might not hate spending time with me as much as you want to make it look like you do."

"A kid," I laughed softly, dejectedly. My hand clammed up in his and I had to get as far away from him as possible because he had this strange way of affecting my usually cool exterior and turning my insides into mush. I slipped my hand out of his and nervously explained as I found my feet back on solid ground, "I...should get to.."

"To school?" He asked, jokingly, knowing it was the last place I wanted to be. "What are you afraid of, Lulu?"

"I've never been afraid of anything," I said, my arms crossed, watching him nervously step down from the ledge.

"One thing," He muttered.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing," He shrugged, his hands in his pockets, watching me as he leaned against the ledge. "I shouldn't be pushing this. I should know better."

"Can you move," I asked, shooing with my hand as I leaned back against the bench, something catching my eye in the distance, "You're blocking my view."

"You're something," He laughed sarcastically, shaking his head and turning away from me, to face the view, "The city doesn't look too screwed up from far away, does it?"

"Shut up.." I whispered, my ears pricking up to the familiar noise.

"Hey, are you ever polite?" He snapped.

I put my finger to my lips, gesturing him to come with me behind an outgrowth of bushes. He reached for his gun, but

I whispered that it wasn't danger that we were hiding from. He followed close behind me and I crouched down behind some foliage, peeking through to see Jason's motorcycle approaching the clearing. He was the only person on a motorcycle I regularly ran into up here before my dad died. Lately, I hadn't been here much.

Before, Jason would always find me here, thinking about my mom who was sick, and he'd always know what to say, or...not to say. Just having Jason to listen my going on and on about nothing and everything was the cure to a bad day back then. I hadn't been around he and Sonny much lately. I missed the dinners we'd have, sitting around Sonny's oak dinner table as he served us his fancy Italian meals, telling us we were horrible for feeding ourselves junk food. I missed Jason and I wanted to see him, but I didn't want him letting Sonny know I was out of school right now. I didn't want the extra headache.

"Who are we hiding from?" Johnny asked, "Your boyfriend?"

"No, your boss." I whispered, pointing to Jason. He got off his bike and took off his helmet. There was a smile on his face, the kind of smile I hadn't seen since he'd broken up with Robin Scorpio and she'd moved to Paris. I was happy for Jason's smile when my eyes focused on his passenger. She was strikingly petite compared to him and she was wearing a leather jacket over jeans. Her back was to me, and I felt a feeling of dread as she pulled off her helmet and her short brown hair came into view. She laughed happily and threw her arms around Jason who hugged her back, laughing himself as well. In my moment of utter happiness for Jason, I was faced by the biggest betrayal.  
His reason for happiness was the same as my brothers.

"Elizabeth," I whispered in shock, not believing Jason would go so far as to choose the one girl who was supposed to be loving my brother, Lucky.

"Woah, Jason has a girlfriend?" Johnny whispered, "I thought that guy was a monk."

"Shut up." I whispered, as I watched them walk off down the trail hand in hand. I wanted to confront them, tell them what they were doing was wrong, that Lucky had already lost enough in his life. Then, it hit me, why Lucky suddenly hated Jason even though they used to be tight. It hit me that Lucky hated mostly Jason and Sonny by association. It wasn't the mob he despised. It was Jason, personally. And now, I knew why. Lucky knew. Elizabeth and Jason were together.

I turned to face Johnny with tears in my eyes, "Take me home, please."

He saw the seriousness in me and nodded, getting up and heading toward the car. He didn't ask me any questions or ask if I was alright. He didn't even ask me about why I was so angry. He just completely shut down, led me to the car, and drove me home. When we got to the driveway, I checked the time and saw it was barely noon. I got out of the car and noticed him sitting still, so I leaned down, my elbows resting against the open passenger's side window and I asked, "Aren't you coming in to protect me?"

He glanced at me and turned his head away, pulling shifting the gear into reverse, "Don't you have someone else who can protect you?"

He backed out of the driveway like his car was set on fire and sped off down the street. I watched him, my mouth open in shock, and I realized after he was gone, how utterly open and unprotected I was standing in the middle of my driveway. I looked around for any suspicious signs and got inside the house, locking the doors and checking windows.

I wasn't afraid of a boogeyman hiding in the closet, but it was good to be cautious just in case one were to pop out. I sat the rest of the afternoon worried until there was a knock at the door.

I hoped it would be Johnny, but instead I was greeted with Francis's smiling face, "Hey Lu, mind if I come in?"

"No..." I stepped aside, questioning his visit.

He shrugged and said, "Boss got in a fight with the Stone-replacement and sent me here to guard you."

"Uncle Sonny and Johnny were fighting?" I asked, "About what?"

"Beats me," Francis shrugged, "You got any oatmeal cookies?"

I nodded and headed to the kitchen, wondering how I'd set about finding out what the hell was going on. **5 - Lulu**

Francis didn't bring me coffee. And what was worse, he actually cared that I wasn't going to school and he snitched on me to Sonny, who came down hard on the subject. Feeling responsible for my dad not being saved in time from Anthony Zaccarah, Sonny made it his sole priority to make sure I graduated high school on time. He didn't threaten me or preach. All he said was that if I didn't get my act together, he would send me to live with Aunt Bobbie. I loved my Aunt Bobbie, don't get me wrong, but one week with her and Lucas, fighting in that huge house, and I would go nuts. I liked the freedom of being in my own home and knowing Lucky was barely ever there to bother me. I wanted to keep things the way they were. So I let Francis drive me to school; and I tried to only give him the slip when I had no other choice.

While I was trying to keep a low profile and everyone off my back, my mind was constantly on Johnny. The last day we spent together weighed heavy on my mind and as I focused on the fun we were having at the Overlook, it was hard to understand why he had flipped out on me and run away as soon as he brought me home.

I knew I had to get some answers and Francis was being too tight-lipped. I decided that I needed to hear the truth straight from the horse's mouth. The problem was that Johnny wasn't at the apartment and I wasn't talking to Jason, so I needed to see Sonny if I wanted to find out anything about anything.

"Listen, Francis," I reasoned nicely, "You're either going to take me to see him or I'm going to sneak off and do it and maybe get killed in the process. Do you know what it does to your resume if I get killed?"

Francis nervously grabbed a sugar cookie from the table and nodded reluctantly, "Boss doesn't like us to bring you down to the club."

"Francis, Francis," I smiled, shaking my head, "Those bimbos in there don't have anything on display I haven't seen before. Besides, I need to just walk to the back office and talk to Uncle Sonny. It's pretty important."

Francis drove me down to the club and waited outside.

I stepped in through the tinted doors and even though it was mid-morning, it felt like I was being transported to night time. The lights were dimmed, with a neon glow, and loud, sensual music filled the smoky air. Women in flimsy outfits were serving drinks and men were hooting and hollering as a stripper did her thing on the pole under the spotlight. I tried to avert my gaze from the girl, feeling my cheeks redden in embarrassment for her situation.

Jason was leaving Sonny's office and I kept my head up when I saw him, looking right through him as I stated firmly,

"I'm here to see Sonny."

"How you been, Lulu?" He asked, his eyes bright blue, even though I tried to focus on the pain in Lucky's heart as opposed to Jason's happiness. He looked relieved for the opportunity to talk to me.

"Is he in there or not?" I asked, avoiding his question.

"Sonny's in a meeting right now," Jason explained, "But I can drive you to the penthouse and he'll meet us there," he offered kindly. "We can catch up on things."

"I don't need you to drive me anywhere." I stated flatly, "I'll find my own way out." He tried to reach for my arm, but

I shied away from him, feeling disgust at myself for doing so. This was my second brother. The man who had always watched over me and who had grown up right beside me.

Jason kept his distance and retreated back into the office while I made my way through the crowd, toward the entrance. I kept my head down, hoping not to recognize anyone, and hoping no one would recognize me here. I rummaged through my purse for a napkin, wanting to blot the tears that were threatening to fall. I'd never been mean to Jason before; never. It was breaking my heart and I wanted to get as far away from there as possible.

I wasn't watching where I was looking and I ran head-first into the bartender carrying some whiskey glasses behind the bar. He dropped them onto the bar and I was about to apologize as his familiar voice told me to watch where I was going. "I guess Morgan's got you so emotional you're not paying attention to your feet."

I looked up and was startled to see who I'd run into, "Johnny," I found myself whispering his name.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, looking around and putting away the glasses he was carrying. He grabbed a towel and began cleaning the bartop. He seemed intent on not smiling and not making pleasant conversation. "Aside from having a scene with Morgan."

"What are..." I wanted to ask the question but gulped, "What are you doing ...here?"

"I work here, Lulu." He stated the obvious. "Not good enough for your standards princess? Apparently this is what you get when you disobey the boss."

"The Paradise Lounge?" I asked, not believing Sonny would order him to work in such a place. Sure, Uncle Sonny owned it, but it wasn't the kind of place I'd expect a person like Johnny to spend his time. Surrounded by sleazebags and bimbos.

"Too low class for you?" He asked, mocking me, "Maybe you should leave."

"Leaving seems to be what you're good at." I replied flatly. His eyes found mine and he stared me down, wanting to say something, but keeping himself from doing so.

"Are you even old enough to be in here?" He asked, treating me as if I was a kid.

"Hey John," A girl with a high-pitched squeaky voice called out, ignoring me as she slid on the stool beside me and struck up a conversation with Johnny, "I'm about to go out on stage for my debut, will you be watching me?"  
Her voice sounded oddly familiar. Too familiar for my comfort. I tried to close my eyes and turn away from her, so she couldn't see me, while I tried to figure it out. Who was she?

"I clock out at six, so I'll be here." Johnny replied.

"I'm so glad I took up Mr. Corinthos on his offer," She whispered, her hand reaching out to brush his. I watched his eyes flat and cold and he glanced at me quick, just in time to see me gag in reaction. "Who needs a career in fashion when you can make five hundred a night in tips right here?"

I turned to face her right then, "Maxie?" I whispered, "You're stripping?"

The color drained from her face for a slight moment, and then she composed herself and for Johnny's benefit, she put on a smile, "Hey Lulu, are you here to get a lapdance or something?"

She laughed and I watched Johnny's amused eyes. He wasn't going to help me out this time. He was staying silent and his silence was just egging Maxie on to berate me. He was angry at me for something, and I had to find out what.

"Maxie, I think the janitor from school is sitting over there," I pointed, "You better go please your crowd."

"I'm on break, mom," Maxie laughed, "Why don't you get out of here and stop being such a loser? John is NOT into you."

"Well, if he's IN to disease-infested YOU, I feel sorry for him," I replied, grabbing my bag, deciding to ignore her. I turned to face Johnny and kept my chin strong and my voice steady, "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Maxie stifled a giggle and I felt my cheeks turn hot as I noticed his eyes soften, but his stance not move an inch. He kept wiping a glass clean with a towel and his eyes were stormy as they watched my face intently. He looked like he was deciding whether or not to break me in front of my worst enemy. I felt my chin quiver, for a split-second, I worried I would cry.

I turned away from Johnny and could feel myself sag my shoulders in defeat. I began taking small steps to the door when I heard him call out my name, "Lulu...wait!"

I exhaled the breath I was shakily holding and kept walking as he left Maxie at the bar and caught up to me, "Are you going to wait a second?" He asked softly, his hand latching onto my arm, gently holding me from running away.

"You can get your kicks putting me down anytime you want, Johnny," I said coldly, "But not in front of her. Never in front of her, if you knew what Maxie Jones..." I couldn't even talk because a lump was forming, threating to break out in a sob.

"Lulu, I was just mad at you, I didn't mean to embarrass you in front of her," He was being honest.  
"Listen, I don't know why you're mad at me," I told him, "But I'm used to Maxie Jones."

"I'm not..mad at you," He admitted, his shoulders shrugged as he bent his head and scratched his ear, "I never imagined standing in a place like this having a conversation like this with you."

"John!" Maxie called out, pulling Johnny by the sleeve, "My customer wants to order a shot, I need you." Maxie turned to me and smiled smugly, knowing she'd interrupted an important conversation.

"Go, we'll talk later," I whispered dejectedly, feeling defeat even though this wasn't a contest.

Johnny told Maxie to wait and he walked back over to me, watching my eyes for a second before he placed his hands on my face and leaned in. "Let me make it up to you," He whispered against my ear before turning his face toward mine. He kissed me me softly, his lips coaxing mine to open for his eager ones. His tongue traced the lining of my mouth and I sighed and felt myself fall into his kiss as his hand found its way into my hair and held me steady, helping me not to let my nervous knees buckle like they were about to.

I'd never been kissed like that before. I'd never really been kissed at all.

I opened my eyes as I felt him pull away and I didn't even care where we were, or who was watching. Maxie's shocked expression meant nothing to me. All I felt in that moment was that Johnny Zaccarah had just seen my soul the way he kissed me. I felt like his kiss was the most significant and defining moment of my life. I wanted more of those kisses, and more.

When Johnny leaned down and whispered in my ear, "I think we gave Maxie a good show," I felt my heart fall to the floor. It was for show. It was Johnny feeling sorry for me and kissing me to make Maxie think he cared about me. He did it out of pity.

"Yeah," I nodded, and I felt my heart leap out of my body and rush out the door. I felt empty. "I need to go."

"We can talk later," He promised, "Okay?"

I nodded, "Sure." And left the Paradise Lounge as fast as my feet would carry me.

**6 - Lulu**

I stood in front of the mirror in my parents' bedroom, not recognizing my own reflection. My hair was pulled up in a loose ponytail and curly strands fell against my face. I picked up the purple silk dress Carly had bought for me for this occasion. Stepping into it and zipping up my side, it dawned on me that I was unprepared. After losing my dad and letting life spiral out of control, I never believed this day would come.

There was a knock at the door and Carly peeked her head in, "Hey Cousin, you ready to go grab that diploma?"

It was graduation day. I shrugged, "It's no big deal."

She stood behind me and we looked at us in the mirror. Carly played with my hair and smoothed out my dress just like I imagined my mother would have done had she been here. My older cousin reached into her purse and pulled out a small gold chain, "Sonny got angry at me for choosing a plain old chain," She admitted, "He wanted me to add a graduation charm to it or something meaningful like that."

I turned around and pushed my hair aside. Carly snapped the chain closed and explained, "I didn't have much of anything when I was your age. I spent less and less time thinking about who I would be in the future and more and more time wishing I was someone else. I'd see these girls, carefree and hopeful. They'd have these little chains around their necks, each one with a prettier charm than the other. I remember listening in on their conversations as I waited tables at the local diner after school. They'd go on and on about how their daddies or boyfriends had gotten them this meaningful charm or the next. I always told myself that if I grew up into someone with the means, I'd pick out a charm for myself and always remember what it felt like to have nothing..."

"Carly, you're going to make my mascara run," I whispered, pulling her into a hug.

"I just wanted you to feel free when I gave you this," She whispered, "You have the whole world ahead of you and you'll have a million chances to put something meaningful on this chain. I just wanted you to always remember me alongside whoever or whatever it is that makes you happy enough to have you want it around your neck." Carly wiped her own tears, "I'm not making any sense."

I wiped away my own, "You make perfect sense to me."

"You'd think someone was getting married with all the crying going on in here," Lucky whispered, hesitantly joining us. I remembered Lucky and me curled up in bed with our mom, and our dad telling us stories of their grand adventures on the run.

"A graduation is bad enough," I smiled, "No weddings in the near future."

Lucky hugged me and for a brief moment, his eyes were shining, like they used to do when he carried a deck of cards in his pocket and still played his guitar and wrote love songs. He sheepishly kissed my forehead, "I hear the entire Port Charles mafia is coming to cheer you on."

Lucky and Carly headed downstairs and I was rummaging through the closet for my cap and gown when I heard my phone vibrate. I knew even before looking. There was a longing in my heart, begging for me to be strong enough to ignore it, but I couldn't ignore it. I was weak when it came to him, and my weakness had begun two weeks ago when he kissed me at the Paradise Lounge.

It had crushed me to realize that he'd done it as a favor to me, so I'd save face in front of Maxie. Maybe it hurt more because it was my first kiss. Or, maybe what hurt worse was the fact that Johnny hadn't really done anything wrong.

He thought he was helping me. It wasn't his fault that I wanted him to want it to be real.

I glanced at my phone and couldn't help but smile at the text: Don't be nervous today. Just imagine Sonny in his underwear. Pink polka dot boxers. Trust me

I held my phone against my heart for a moment and thought about some smart ass response. I couldn't think of anything. I'd ignored him and his cute little text attempts to talk to me for two weeks. I was terrified of the idea of talking to him. It would be so embarrassing to have to explain why I'd been avoiding him since the kiss. As much as it hurt, I had to ignore him now.

Carly drove over to Port Charles High with Lucky and I. She held his hand and winked at me as I walked off to line up with the rest of the class. I trusted that Carly would take him over to where Aunt Bobbie was and wouldn't leave him alone.

I felt like an alien, listening to the people around me. They were sad and worried about the future. For me, the future was much brighter than whatever had come before it. It had to be better. The door to the future was something there were begging to stay closed. I couldn't wait to step forward and turn the knob with ease.

As we were seated, I drowned out the voice of saintly Georgie Jones giving her valedictorian speech. My eyes scanned the crowd and I couldn't help but smile to see two rows of men in expensive dark suits sitting with Carly, my Aunt Bobbie, and cousin Lucas. Lucky was sitting with them, at the end of the row, on the sidelines, but still, in the game.

It meant a lot to me that he cared enough about me and this day to stomach sitting three seats away from Sonny Corinthos.

It took forever for my name to be called. I nervously took three steps up to get my diploma and shake the principal's hand. I turned to face the crowd and a grin descended on my face as I thought of Johnny's text and his advice.

Somehow, in that moment that was moving so fast, my eyes focused on the very back row, on a young man dressed in a blazer and jeans, with dark sunglasses. My eyes weren't playing tricks on me, it was definitely Johnny; and he was unmistakably holding what I knew to be a bouquet of flowers. I knew he was watching my every move, even from afar. It was like there was an electric current running from him to me. I felt warm inside knowing my importance to him was what had brought him here and I could only try my best not to trip on my way back to my seat. By the time I glanced back to look for him, he was gone.

Bless his heart, Lucky had known all along that I would have a hard time inviting Sonny and his men into our home, so he held the after party for me at Jake's, and he knew well enough not to invite anyone from school other than Spinelli, who would forever be my friend. The only person missing, other than my obviously lost parents, was Johnny.

The question was eating me up inside out. Why had he shown up to my graduation with flowers but hadn't stuck around long enough to give them to me?

Jake, the owner and namesake of the bar, turned on the jukebox to an oldies song and Uncle Sonny got me up on my feet, determined to dance with his niece. Time passed slowly in that little rundown bar by the docks, but I wasn't in any hurry. None of us were. Jason was nursing his beer in the corner, letting Carly hustle him at pool. The guards who

I'd grown up thinking of us older brothers were tossing back peanuts and sharing jokes. Lucky even seemed to be enjoying himself, dancing with his oldest friend, Emily Quartermaine, who was visiting home from college. If my parents had been here, the night would have been perfection. For now, it was the best night we'd had in a while. And for most of us, that was enough.

Carly stole my dancing partner away after Jason disappeared out the front after getting a phone call. It wasn't business. Jason usually stalked out of a room if there was something urgent to tend to. I watched him as he whispered into his phone, looking around to make sure no one was watching him. His shoulders were at ease and there was a smile on his face. I glanced at Lucky and Emily, sitting in a corner booth, their heads close together. I watched him watch her in awe, like someone recognizing a friend for the first time in way they hadn't realized before.

Georgie Jones smoothed out her dress and walked toward me, smiling that angelic smile that always made her seem like she was above everyone else. She looked like she'd never been to Jake's before. "Lulu, I hope you don't mind me crashing in on your party. We didn't get a chance to cross paths at school these past few weeks and you've really been on my mind."

"You're a good friend to Spinelli, Georgie. Happy graduation," I whispered, enveloping her in a hug.

"We used to be so close, Lulu, pigtail partners for life, remember," She brought back memories I had long-since buried. I held her tightly and she patted my back, "We're both orphans Lulu. But we have men in our lives who have stepped in to be parents to us. I wish the best for you, despite all the pain my sister has caused you."

"Let's worry about us, Georgie. Let's let Maxie worry about herself, it's what she does best, isn't it?" We shared a knowing look and laughed.

Jake beckoned me to the bar, slipping me a piece of paper, "I like your taste darlin'," She winked, "If I was twenty years younger.."

I looked at her with questioning eyes but she just nodded toward the note and excused herself to the back.

My fingers nervously unfolded the sheet of paper and all I found was a question: Do you know where to find the nearest ledge?

Before I knew it, a smile spread across my face. I crept to the stairs leading up to the roof. Every step I took, it felt like my heart was beating louder and louder against my chest. Maybe he just wanted to give me the flowers and leave.

The moon was shining bright and his silhouette stood beside the roof's ledge. He was facing away from me but he turned as soon as he heard my hesitant footsteps. "I wasn't sure you'd leave your party to come up here.." He whispered.

"Hey, you're a ledge newbie," I laughed softly, "I couldn't let you do any high walking without me and have you break your neck on my graduation night."

"I didn't come up here to fly tonight, Lulu," Johnny admitted, turning around. He was gripping a bouquet of flowers in his hand, "I came here to give you these."

I smiled and accepted the flowers, holding the bouquet up to my nose and smiling at the delicious scent. "You didn't have to get me anything," I whispered.

"Truth is.." He said nervously, "I've had something to say to you for two weeks and I've been joking around sending stupid text messages, but I was just chicken. I didn't know how to have this conversation."

"Johnny, we don't have to talk about it you know," I shrugged, nodding and pretending to be the understanding girl who would never be more than his friend, "I know it was no big deal and that it didn't mean anything." I nodded, pleased with myself for not breaking down and crying, and I turned away from him, "We should get back down to the party.."

"But we do have to talk about it, Lulu." He whispered, and I stopped dead in my tracks.

"We do?" I whispered, still not feeling strong enough to turn around.

He took a few steps; I could hear him. I closed my eyes in the dark and even though we weren't touching, I could feel his presence behind me. "I owe you an apology," He told me.

I shrugged my shoulders, feeling a shiver run through, "For what?"

I could feel a rustling behind me and suddenly, his coat was being placed around my shoulders. All at once, I felt his scent invade me. His cologne and skin was permeating from the blazer melding onto my skin. I wished I could never wash a smell like this away.

"That day I got mad at you and drove off," He whispered, "I left you alone. unprotected when it was the one thing I was supposed to do. And I was being stupid and ...I'm sorry."

I turned around and was startled by how close by he was standing, his eyes shining in the moonlight. His face looked devoid of color, like he was debating whether or not to say anything more.

"Why did you get mad at me?" I whispered.

He shook his head, frustrated with his own reasoning, "It took a really long time for us to finally share a good day without you hating me..and then you saw Jason with that girl and ..you cried over him. I was waiting for a day like that with you forever, and Morgan ruined it. I guess he ruined whatever I was thinking was ...nevermind. Just forget it, Lulu, okay?"

"How does Jason figure into any of this?" I asked, not believing his stupid answer to a question that had been nagging at me for months.

"What do you mean, you're all flirting with me making me think things and the next minute seeing Jason Superman Morgan with some chick makes you cry." Johnny said, his voice rising.

"I wasn't crying to see Jason with some chick," I said, my finger pushing pointedly into his chest, "I saw Jason with Elizabeth, the love of my brother's life since he was 15! Basically you were there with me in the moment I realized why my real brother hated my other brother all of a sudden. It's all a brotherly equation Johnny, don't you get it?"

"Don't bend the truth for my sake, Lulu," He whispered, "I don't want to be some stupid tragic hero you feel sorry for.

If you're into Morgan, even though he's much older than me, and even I'm too old for..."

"Are you retarded Johnny?" I asked, shaking the clutter out of my head, "I'm telling you I was crying because of Jason betraying my brother and you're blabbering on and on about ...yourself?" I laughed, "This had nothing to do with you, and you of all people are walking around mad at me over this?"

"Why the hell are you laughing at me?" He asked, irritated at me.

"Because you're funny, Johnny!" I said, pushing him back with my finger in his chest once more, "I have a party to get to, and unless you didn't know already, the world doesn't revolve around you..."  
He raised his hands in surrender, giving up, "You know, you're right." He muttered, "I thought... never mind what I thought, okay? You have a party to get to."

"Yeah, I do." I whispered, unsure of what we were even fighting about.

I turned around and his hand grabbed my arm. "Wait a minute," He whispered, and before I knew it, he'd turned me around and his hand brought up my hand, molding my palm to his heart as his other hand went around my waist.

"What are you doing?" I asked him, completely confused.

He softly swayed with me, his voice barely higher than a whisper, "I promised myself I'd give you the roses and ask you to dance. It seemed easy enough, but I screw up even the easiest stuff."

"You wanted to dance with me?" I asked, trying to ignore the fact that my chest was smashed against his and that his aftershave was tickling my nose.

"Sometimes," He told me, "Sometimes you look at the fire, and know how bad it's going to hurt when you get burned, but you can't help but stick your hand in anyway."

"Have you been drinking?" I asked, even though I knew I didn't smell anything on his breath.

"I like waking up, knowing you're in my life and the possibility of being in town and turning a corner and seeing you there," He admitted, "And I'm sorry I kissed you because ever since I did it, you've been ignoring me again. And..I hate it."

He was so honest, like he was opening up his innermost thoughts to me and only me. I wanted to apologize for a million things, most importantly about my fears, "I'm sorry I've been avoiding you, Johnny," I said, my eyes staring down at the ground, "It's just hard for me.."

"To pretend to like me, I know," He admitted, "I'm still always going to be the guy whose dad killed yours."  
"No..what?" I asked, "That has nothing to do with.."

"Come on, Lulu," He said, replying as if he thought I was patronizing him, "I keep thinking all these things I want will happen, but in the end, I'll always be the guy who it pains you to look at... you'll always want to avoid me."

'Johnny," I whispered, "You have no idea what I want."

**7 - Lulu**

"Johnny," I whispered, "You have no idea what I want."

I shook my head and willed myself not to reveal too much emotion. If my dad were here, he'd whisper to me the perfect advice: Never reveal your hand too soon, Gumdrop.

Johnny crossed his arms and dared me to speak, "Why don't you enlighten me, then?"

I listened to the soft tunes flowing up from the jukebox downstairs. People were laughing, glasses clinking together, feet stomping to the music that was building up. "This is a great song," I whispered, nodding my head to the melodies, "I bet Emily, my brother's friend, picked it."

"That's nice," Johnny whispered dismissively, "Can you answer a question for me, Lulu, now that you're a know-it-all high school graduate?"

I rolled my eyes and sarcastically suggested a question, "You want to know who shot Elvis?" I asked, trying to hide a smile, "We haven't learned that yet."

"That's probably because no one shot Elvis," He laughed, and I felt so dumb suddenly that I wanted to melt into the ground, "You're thinking about who shot JFK?"

I shook my hand, "Oh I could care less about that," I laughed, "I watched four seasons of that show with my grandmom and still didn't figure it out.."

He laughed heartily in a way that sounded like music to my ears, "You're adorable you know that?" He asked, laughing some more to himself, "Tv show? Are you talking about who shot JR? Dallas?" He asked, and I nodded, my cheeks feeling flushed as he whispered, "My mom watched that, too."

His expression sobered as I replayed the magic word over and over in my head. Adorable. "I haven't asked my question yet, and I could care less about who shot who," He told me. His eyes were glued to my face as he took one step forward, "I want my question."

"Blurt it out already and quit being such a girl about it," I warned, frustration getting the best of me. Having Johnny around, wanting to ask me questions, was working away at my calm exterior. I doubted I could take much more standing under the Zaccarah microscope.

Then it came. Such a simple question it was, and yet, goosebumps prickled against my skin as he asked, "Why are you so terrified of me?"

It was ridiculous. "I think you're on something..." I muttered.

He stepped forward and I took a step back, and a ghost of a smile passed along his face, "See, you're scared."

He put his hands in his pockets at first, but he seemed nervous himself, and he pulled them out again and began playing with the lapels of the blazer that was still resting against my shoulders. He gently tugged on the blazer, pulling me inches forward, but still not close enough for what I was imagining in my head, "It's like I have the plague. What is it about me other than my obvious last name that has you needing to run away?"

"I'm not running away, Johnny," I stated, holding my chin up, "You want to think I avoid you because of our fathers but that's not it. It's just.." I cleared my throat and whispered softly, my chin drooping as I focused on the gravel at our feet, "You just make me nervous, that's all."

The surprise in his voice nearly killed me but I couldn't bring myself to meet his eyes, "I make YOU nervous?"

The next thing I knew, his gentle fingers were under my chin, tilting up my head to meet his gaze. He smiled to himself, shaking his own head in disbelief, trying to pretend my words had no effect on him. He couldn't. I felt his fingertips gently gliding to and fro on the skin of my face, and he asked, "Do you know how nervous YOU make ME?"

I shrugged, trying to be a deceptive Spencer, trying to protect my heart and cover all potentially hurtful bases. Like being saved by the bell, I heard some party guests calling out my name, wondering where I'd run off to, and I gained distance between me and Johnny, "I should get back downstairs before they send a search party.."  
He nodded, but looked as if he was disappointed in me, disappointed for my being such a chicken. The soft expression on his face scared my already-timid heart even further. "You know we're going to talk about it, don't you?"  
"Haven't we been...talking all this time?" I asked. We were tip-toeing around some hidden discovery. A discovery both of us were nervous to reveal.

Johnny clasped his hands together and then released them to tilt his head and nervously scratch his hair, "Okay.." He said, watching me intently, "I deserve for you to make this hard for me.."

I shrugged like I had no idea what he was hinting at and felt butterflies erupt in my stomach at the thought of what he was trying to tell me. For a moment, I wondered if I should tear down the wall I'd built around me and make whatever THIS was, easy for him. Maybe it would be well worth it.

"I'm not trying to make this hard, Johnny," My voice was low and I watched his face, his eyes intently focused on mine and the way his lips parted and his mouth opened just slightly in awe as he heard me whisper his name.

"Sonny's gonna chop off my..." He began to mutter.

"Lu, you up here?" Lucky joined us on the roof and I wasn't sure if he was a welcome interruption or an unwelcome intrusion. My brother's smile faded as he glanced from me to Johnny. If there was one thing that set my brother apart from the rest of the Spencers, other than the obvious side of the law that we sat on, it was that Lucky didn't have a very good poker face. He was visibly disturbed to see me looking cozy with the enemy as he knew it. Uncle Sonny and Jason were already engrained in the fabric of my life; Johnny wasn't. As far as Lucky was concerned, he could forbid me to get close to Johnny. I could already see the wheels of protectiveness moving in my brother's head.  
Lucky's eyes bore daggers into Johnny's as he spoke directly to him, "My sister's missing her party..."

I glanced at Johnny with an apologetic look in my eyes and he nodded that all was good. As I passed my older brother on the way to the door, Lucky reached out and peeled Johnny's coat from my shoulders, disappointment oozing from the tone of his voice as he advised, "You'll be warm enough downstairs."

I nodded and excused myself from the roof. I had to stand in the middle of the staircase to catch my balance. The smile on my face said it all, no matter how much Lucky would try to meddle...Johnny Zaccarah liked me.

Sonny noticed the look on my face from across the room and looked at me curiously, his head tilting to the side like he was trying to figure me out. I just smiled even wider, unsure of how he would react if he knew I liked Johnny back as much as he seemed to like me. Would he be happy for his two favorite people or would be not like the idea of me getting involved with someone involved in his line of work?

Sonny strode across the room and pulled me into a hug, "What's got you so happy?"

"Nothing.." I shrugged.

"Nothing, eh?" He asked, giving me a stern look, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah.." I laughed, nodding, "Would I ever lie to the Godfather?"

"Yeah, you'd lie," He nodded, "And don't call me that."

"Did you not stand in a church holding me when I was a baby and swear to watch over me?" I asked him.  
"I did do that, sweetheart," He nodded, smiling in remberance as he leaned down to kiss my forehead. "You were a beautiful baby."

"Then that makes you my.." I whispered in his ear, "Godfather."

He laughed and his dimples made me happy. Sonny deserved some laughter in his life. "Wonder where Jason ran off to.."

"Probably with that skank, Elizabeth.." I muttered.

"Whoa.." Sonny called out, surprised by my word choice, "That girl's been through a lot, and she's the only one I've ever seen who can truly lighten him up."

"Lucky loves her," I told him.

"I know she was his first love, honey, but I think Jason might love her, too," Sonny shared his thoughts softly, unsure of how I would react, "After all Jason's done for me, for you, doesn't he deserve that?"

"Lucky doesn't have anyone.." I whispered.

"Things aren't always as they seem," Sonny reminded me cryptically, "He seems to have a sweetspot for Jason's little sister."

"How do you know everything about everybody?" I asked amazed.

"Same way I know you were up on the roof with Johnny for a half hour before you came downstairs with a goofy smile on your face," Sonny admitted, "Don't give me a reason to hate the kid, Lulu."

"We're just friends," I promised, and even though it was technically the truth, it felt like a lie.

Carly walked up to us and poured two quarters into Sonny's hand, "Play me my song," She winked. They were together and they weren't. They went after other people and tried to build lives and families and move on, but they never could let themselves move on from eachother. They were too electric; a couple that knew the best and worst of eachother and didn't judge either way. Carly had picked Uncle Sonny up and out from the darkness he had plunged into after losing so much. And he had refused to let her be the same woman she had been when she first came to town. He'd broken her down then built her up into someone she'd never imagined she could be. In one word, they were eachother's strength.

"What do you want me to pick?" Sonny asked her.

"You know, Uncle Sonny," I pushed him toward the jukebox.

He dropped in the coins and the music began as he rejoined us. I smiled. This was her song, from him. He still lit up like a little boy and the love in his eyes shone bright when he called her by her full first name. I stood rooted in place and watched them sway back and forth even though it wasn't really dance music.  
When the chorus began to play, more than a few people loudly sang the words,  
Hands, touching hands, reaching out Touching me, touching you Oh, sweet Caroline Good times never seem so good...

I wondered what Lucky and Johnny could possibly still be doing upstairs. I pushed aside the worry and instead focused on the people in this room, drunk and happy, dancing and spending time with their loved ones. My other brother Nikolas was there and he seemed to be enjoying his time talking with Robin Scorpio, who was an intern at General Hospital, and who had once been in love with Stone. Usually Nikolas went for dumb blondes and models. It was good to see him intrigued by an intelligent, good girl. It was then that I caught Emily Quartermaine, sitting in a corner booth, gazing towards the stairs. She was waiting for Lucky. What kind of idiot was he to keep her waiting? I wanted to march upstairs and ask him that but Carly grabbed my arm and pulled me into a dance with her and Sonny. He took turns spinning both his favorite blondes around the dance floor.

We were so preoccupied with our own little stolen slice of happiness that we never saw the strangers in black masks who entered Jake's until we heard our friends see their drawn guns and gasp. Someone, I wasn't sure who, screamed shrilly. I looked across the room and watched Nikolas pull Robin and Emily to safely stand behind him. He looked to me, but I was too far away for him to protect.

"Corinthos!" He called out, and Sonny pushed Carly and I forcefully, shoving us away from him. The shots fired were loud, and I felt a popping in my ears before I lost the ability to clearly hear. All I could remember hearing was a mixture of muted screams set to the tune of Sweet Caroline. It was terrible.

My bare knees hit the cement flooring and I felt Carly warn me to stay put while she tried to get to Sonny. He was falling. My tears fell as I watched Carly leap into the spray of fire to get to him, "Sonny..!" I screamed and looked around for any sign that this nightmare would soon be over.

That's when Lucky and Johnny descended the stairs, their guns drawn, their heads held high as they made their way through the crowd toward the gun-men. Without blinking, I watched Johnny hold up his gun, aiming it at one of the two gunmen, the one who had shot Sonny, and pull the trigger.

As I watched Uncle Sonny in a pool of blood, I thought of my father. No. I couldn't lose them both. Not this way. The other gunman had his gun trained on Johnny, but Lucky aimed it at him and got his attention, "Port Charles Police. Put down your weapon." Lucky yelled.

The man cleared his throat and in a disguised voice replied, "I can't."

Another gunman stood at the entrance, itching to pull the trigger.

Lucky stepped closer, his gun trained on the man, and I watched his eyes watching the man's eyes through the mask. I'm not sure why, but Lucky suddenly stood in front of Johnny, not allowing him the chance to shoot the second gunman. He looked into the killer's eyes with understanding, and I could tell my brother knew something we didn't as he warned, "Tell your boss, I'm coming for him."

The gun man nodded and ran toward his friend. Someone called for an ambulance and Robin rushed to Sonny's side, whispering that she'd just come back to town and that she wasn't about to lose him. Stone could have him back, but not yet. He was hers for now. He was all of ours.

Lucky grabbed Johnny's gun and wiped the prints, holding it in his own hand and shooting one round off in the air. "Can this be traced to you?" He asked.

Francis yelled out what Johnny didn't know, "No."

We were all friends and family here, and Jake was one of us. Lucky looked around as he heard sirens approaching and he explained, "I came downstairs and fought with one gunman. I got a hold of his gun. Another gun man shot Sonny and without thinking, I shot him with the other man's gun. That's what happened. Nothing else. Is that clear?"  
Everyone nodded wearily, trusting him. Everyone but a few, "We don't say shit until we talk to Jason.." Max, Sonny's guard, stated.

Carly looked up at the men in her life with tear-stained eyes. She looked from her cousin with the badge to the men who protected her, "Lucky's trying to help us..to help Johnny."

"Why?" Max goaded, "Why would he help one of us? He hates us."

"He's my brother, Max!" I yelled out, finding my voice, standing in the middle of the crowd, "And he wouldn't hurt me by hurting Johnny," I whispered softly, glancing past Johnny's worried eyes to meet Lucky's green ones, "He just wouldn't."

"Lulu, he's hated Sonny for years, you know it.." Max urged.

I walked to Sonny, lying on the floor, Carly cradling his head in her lap and fell to my knees, my hand tracking his dimples as I whispered what I felt to be another lie, "It will be okay.." I looked up to Johnny and Georgie and Lucky and Spinelli and over to Carly. My family. I prayed we would make it through.


End file.
